furetara
by pengiechan
Summary: They stand together at the window of his hospital room and they don't touch. KousukexRyouko, manga based. Oneshot.


They stand together, side-by-side, looking out of the hospital window into the rainy afternoon, and they don't touch. He leans heavily on his crutches, one arm in a cast and sling, and she is close enough to hold his uninjured hand, but they still don't touch one another.

Tomorrow morning, they will be released from the hospital. As it was before, they will be living together - they have no other choice, after all, in their situation - and she wonders to herself if they will continue to have moments like this, where they are close, so close, but not quite...

She looks down at his hand, at his fingertips dangling only an inch from hers, and something aches in her chest that must be her heart. Not quite.

How did she feel when he held her hand, those days and weeks ago, as he lay in his hospital bed with her quietly sitting by his side? What did she feel, stirring up in her stomach? It was the feelings she'd kept quiet before - the girlish ideas of love (even though he was, technically, her brother), the hopeless thought that maybe we could have a happy ending after all, the constantly suppressed wanting of more, more, more. And she knew he wanted it all, too - oh, she knew, she had to have known, even before then. But what could they do? He'd held her hand for just a moment, just long enough to bring those thoughts back from their graves, and then they'd been interrupted by those two brats. And after that... nothing. She'd been left with only a nervous urge in the pit of her stomach and the vague realization that her oniichan loved her in ways inappropriate to love a little sister.

... but that is what she wants - that love. She looks at his hand again, and knows it, is sure of it. She wants it, just wants him to touch her again, just so it's real. Even if they can't have what they truly want, what they know is real, now, she would accept just one little touch and nothing more. Just to hold his hand again, or to feel his arm around her shoulder. That would be enough.

She knows this, and is sure he knows it, too, but they still don't touch.

"It's raining hard." He breaks their silence, his voice dry and hoarse. "I'm glad we aren't leaving today."

"Ah."

"Is Rio leaving, too?"

"Yes."

"So we won't be alone, then."

She simply looks up at him, her face blank, unsure of what to say or what to think. His green eyes are trained on the rain for a moment, but slowly move to hers, searching for something. "I mean," he continues, "if you didn't want to be alone - with me - "

"Kousuke," she chides him, softly, and that is enough. He knows better. They both do.

She looks at their hands, still only a breath apart, and remembers all the times they have been close to touching like this. Since arriving in the hospital they have been closer than ever, closer to touches and thoughts and feelings that have been narrowly avoided before, and she no longer feels that they will be able to keep themselves from these things. They have reached a turning point, now... but are hesitating before taking the first step.

"Ryouko," he says, suddenly, and his voice is no longer hoarse, "you won't leave - right?"

The brunette feels unsettled, suddenly. "You're the one who left before - "

"No. Don't say that. I know." He is rushing his words. "Just tell me that it'll be different this time. That you'll stay. That - " He pauses abruptly, and she sees his eyes on her hands. "... that we'll stay together."

"If that's..." If that's what you want, she wants to say, but she knows that it is. She can hear it in his voice. But the desperation in his words isn't there because he thinks she will run away. It is there because he wants, almost needs, something permanent. Something final. A promise of forever.

She watches the rain splatter against the windowpane and thinks about her life so far. So far, she has eluded death multiple times, been bruised, beaten, and battered, and lost faith in almost everything but herself. Herself... and Kousuke. She has believed in him, and him alone, and the unspoken affection that has blossomed between them is proof of the strength of her faith. She has believed so strongly that she has found her feelings transformed, now, here, into love. And here she stands, with the only person she has ever loved (and will love) by her side, and the rest of her life hangs in the balance.

She has a chance. She could try to leave it all, to start over and become someone new. The Blade Children could become a memory again, just as they were when she started high school. She knows that she, more than the others, has this chance. If she stays, she could be chased, hunted, or killed.

And if she stays, it is with the knowledge that Asazuki Kousuke is hers and hers forever, that at eighteen years and a handful of months she has found the only person she will ever love, the only person worth giving up the chance at a "normal" life for.

In this moment, Ryouko thinks she would give up the world for him. Right now there is nothing else worth living for.

"Ryouko?"

She smiles, and the love she feels at this moment threatens to overwhelm her. "If that means you're going to keep freeloading in my aunt's house, I'm not so sure."

"... I was being serious - "

"I know."

"Then - "

"I'll stay." She lifts her eyes to his, swallowing hard. "As long as you like."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Heh." He chuckles, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, his fingertips glancing off her forehead. "That was easier than I thought."

Her heartbeat quickens and she hesitates, unsure, but somehow her hand finds his, and then they are standing side-by-side in front of the window, watching the rain come down with their fingers intertwined. Kousuke's hand is warm and strong, and all at once it feels like home. They are both trembling, now, but Ryouko knows his touch and wants nothing else.

"You're right," she says, softly, "easier than I thought."

A smile plays on his mouth and he squeezes her hand, gently, shifting on his crutches. And that's how they will stay, for now, linked together; they will be like this for the rest of the day and the rest of their lives, however long they may be. 


End file.
